Last night started off fine. I got bottles washed and ready for the night shift. I pumped some milk for the boys and drifted off to sleep somewhere around 11:30. Somewhere between 12:30 and 1:00 I wake up to Nicolas screaming. (keep in mind, I am upstairs and he is downstairs) I get up and try to help calm him down while Jeff continues to feed Blake. I guess I brought him into bed with me. I don't remember this part, but Jeff says I did. That part kind of scares me. I managed to fall back asleep as Jeff tried to get some work done in his office, finishing the late night shift. Around 3:00 in the morning, Jeff woke me up in desperation. Blake was crying inconsolably. He put Nico in the cradle and I tried to get Blake to calm down. After about 45 minutes of crying, he managed to fall asleep next to me. Jeff came in and put him in the cradle. Jeff came to bed around 4:30. I think we slept in the same bed for maybe one hour when it was time for me to get up and feed Nicolas again. From that time on I was pretty much awake, either feeding, burping, changing, a baby or pumping milk for them.
So here I am, going on maybe 4 hours of sleep, maybe. The dishes are piled up in the sink, the house is a mess, bottles are not ready for the night shift and I can't remember the last time I ate something. Oh and the pooor dogs. They have pretty much given up on walks. Once a week is an achievement.
I know many people read this blog, many who have babies of their own. I know what we are experiencing is not much different than the norm. It is a little more intense because there are 2 babies. Hopefully they will know that others are going through the same thing.
I hate to be a "Debbie Downer" but this is our reality. We know "it will get better", as many people have assured us. While this is probably true, well it has to be, it doesn't make the present any easier.
I am going to try to take a nap. I hope to wake up feeling a little more positive.
Here are a few new pictures. I know one is duplicated. I can't figure out how to erase the second one and, quite honestly, don't have the energy to keep trying.
Hugs- Rebeca
4 comments:
Now you are sounding like a mother of newborns, of twins. To be honest I was a bit "jealous". Thinking all the while, "Jeff & Rebeca have this parenting thing down to a tee. It is all so perfect." Glad to see you are HUMAN. LOL Honey vent ALL you want. Most of us have not been mothers (or fathers) of twins. Some days will be good, some will not be so good. Hang in there.
We love you. xxoo Lynda
Aaahhh, I wish we lived closer, so we could come over and give you a respite! Rest assured, for most of us, more often than not, the days and nights are like this. And like Lynda said, most of us have NOT been parents of twins! It is most certainly MUCH harder to have 2 babies the same age to deal with at the same time. We all love you! Hang in there and really enjoy the precious moments with your boys and try (even though it won't be easy when bleary eyed and tired) to remember those sweet moments on nights like the one you just had.
Thank you guys for your nice comments! I do feel better today even though Jeff worked all day. I had help from my mom and Teresa in the morning and then my very kind neighbor came over in the afternoon.
Your words came at the right time- thank you!!!
Love- Rebeca
Hey there,
I obviously have no words of advice, just consolation and support.
Good for you for letting your feelings out on your blog! It's healthy for you and good for pre-baby people like me to hear the reality of how difficult it is to have two newborn babies.
Much love,
Allison
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